1
00:00:02,935 --> 00:00:04,803
[♪]
2
00:01:15,307 --> 00:01:16,407
[kelly sighs]
3
00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:18,009
I can't believe
we lost again.
4
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:19,043
[peg groans]
5
00:01:19,044 --> 00:01:20,878
Well, it's not
your fault, honey.
6
00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:22,380
You played great.
7
00:01:22,381 --> 00:01:24,015
You played great, too,
mom.
8
00:01:24,016 --> 00:01:25,650
And you played
a good game too.
9
00:01:25,651 --> 00:01:27,619
Gee, if we all played
such a good game,
10
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,154
I wonder why we lost.
11
00:01:35,694 --> 00:01:37,462
What are you lookin' at?
12
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,165
Yeah, I know I made
a few errors.
13
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,366
[grunts]
14
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:45,436
For instance,
one, two and three.
15
00:01:49,574 --> 00:01:52,076
I just have a couple
of nagging injuries, that's all.
16
00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:53,577
I'll be fine
for next week's game.
17
00:01:53,578 --> 00:01:54,578
Trust me.
18
00:01:54,579 --> 00:01:55,980
[groans]
19
00:01:55,981 --> 00:01:57,015
I'm still in my prime.
20
00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,216
Spasm! Help me!
21
00:01:58,217 --> 00:01:59,250
[yells]
22
00:02:00,786 --> 00:02:02,820
Breathe through
the pain, daddy.
23
00:02:02,821 --> 00:02:05,690
Breathe through the pain.
24
00:02:05,691 --> 00:02:07,224
Breathe.
25
00:02:07,225 --> 00:02:09,260
Yes.
26
00:02:12,431 --> 00:02:14,365
Aah.
27
00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:16,133
Ah, that's better.
28
00:02:16,134 --> 00:02:17,468
Okay, kids.
29
00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,170
Why don't you take
the bats downstairs.
30
00:02:19,171 --> 00:02:20,738
Somewhere out
of daddy's reach.
31
00:02:20,739 --> 00:02:23,074
You know,
next to success?
32
00:02:26,111 --> 00:02:27,745
Honey, I just asked them
to leave
33
00:02:27,746 --> 00:02:29,680
Because you know
I don't like insulting you
34
00:02:29,681 --> 00:02:30,949
In front of the children.
35
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,217
But it was embarrassing,
36
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,185
The way you missed everything
out there today.
37
00:02:34,186 --> 00:02:35,787
It was like you were
in the bathroom.
38
00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:39,057
Peg, I told you.
39
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,825
It's all injury-related.
40
00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:43,228
Believe me, when I heal,
I'll be batting .400 again.
41
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,230
In both cases.
42
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,732
And I'll tell ya
something else.
43
00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:49,200
It wasn't me
who cost us that game.
44
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:51,569
It was those stupid calls
by that stupid umpire.
45
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:54,105
I really believe
it was personal, peg.
46
00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:02,447
You stink.
47
00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:06,217
It was so much fun
calling you out.
48
00:03:06,218 --> 00:03:07,451
I know it was little,
49
00:03:07,452 --> 00:03:11,322
Compared to the big out
god called on you...
50
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:15,226
But still, it was worth
dressing up like a ninja turtle.
51
00:03:15,227 --> 00:03:18,730
I'm glad you're happy,
rooster bait.
52
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:21,299
You're the reason
we lost.
53
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,601
Your bad,
10-minute-long calls.
54
00:03:23,602 --> 00:03:24,568
Hey.
55
00:03:24,569 --> 00:03:27,738
A lot of fans feel
I add color to the game
56
00:03:27,739 --> 00:03:31,242
With my patented
steeeee-rike!
57
00:03:32,311 --> 00:03:34,379
Besides,
58
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,114
It diverts attention
from you,
59
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,782
Slinking back to the dugout
60
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:39,750
After yet another mighty whiff.
61
00:03:42,487 --> 00:03:44,989
Marcie, al's had
a rough day.
62
00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:47,592
Why don't you just
sit down here,
63
00:03:47,593 --> 00:03:49,861
And we'll talk
about something else.
64
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,330
[sighs]
65
00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:57,135
You really stunk
today, al.
66
00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:58,737
You know,
al is so typical
67
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,505
Of a man
when he gets his age.
68
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,874
In his head, he thinks
he's still young,
69
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,408
But look at him.
70
00:04:04,409 --> 00:04:07,411
Two hundred pounds
of hairless, mindless,
71
00:04:07,412 --> 00:04:09,914
Aging monkey meat.
72
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,318
And you know,
that's just the part
73
00:04:14,319 --> 00:04:15,987
Oozing between
the buttons.
74
00:04:15,988 --> 00:04:17,488
[marcie and peg laugh]
75
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:20,358
Oh, it's too bad
some men
76
00:04:20,359 --> 00:04:22,527
Don't know how to give up
their sports gracefully,
77
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:25,030
Instead of lingering on
like big babies.
78
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,164
Yeah, doggone it,
79
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:28,033
If we could only be
comfortable with our age
80
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,869
Like you darn gals.
81
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,171
You know, I mean in the morning
you go in the bathroom--
82
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,839
A little blush,
a little mascara.
83
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,107
--And voilà.
84
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:39,110
You got an old woman
scared of rain.
85
00:04:42,314 --> 00:04:43,948
Then you try
to clean-and-jerk
86
00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:46,450
Your breasts
into a bra, and...
87
00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:49,187
Ease some exercise pants
88
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:52,356
Over that front
and back belly,
89
00:04:52,357 --> 00:04:55,093
And go down to the market
and flirt with the bag boy.
90
00:04:56,261 --> 00:04:57,996
I guess what I'm trying
to say is,
91
00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,530
It's just pretty pathetic
92
00:04:59,531 --> 00:05:02,934
When we guys try
to cling to our youth.
93
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,803
Well, I'll tell you
something about women
94
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,104
You may not know.
95
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:08,406
We always get even.
96
00:05:08,407 --> 00:05:11,409
So let's just take a look
at who's umpiring
97
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:13,078
Next week's
championship game.
98
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,079
[gasps]
99
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,246
Well, jeez, louise.
100
00:05:15,247 --> 00:05:17,415
It's me.
101
00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,783
It's a good thing
for you
102
00:05:18,784 --> 00:05:20,451
I'm big enough not
to hold a grudge.
103
00:05:20,452 --> 00:05:21,586
[chuckles]
104
00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:25,323
I'm gonna go home
and practice for the game.
105
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:27,258
You're out!
106
00:05:27,259 --> 00:05:29,260
You're out!
107
00:05:29,261 --> 00:05:30,928
You, sir, stink,
108
00:05:30,929 --> 00:05:33,030
And you're out.
109
00:05:33,031 --> 00:05:34,031
Out.
110
00:05:34,032 --> 00:05:35,032
Out.
111
00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:36,901
Out!
112
00:05:44,609 --> 00:05:47,178
Al, when you were talking
about women,
113
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:49,147
You didn't mean me,
did ya?
114
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:53,818
I never do.
115
00:05:55,721 --> 00:05:57,121
Thanks, honey.
116
00:05:57,122 --> 00:05:58,289
Well...
117
00:05:58,290 --> 00:05:59,724
Ow!
118
00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:01,593
[grunts]
119
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,928
I'm gonna go on upstairs
now and take a shower.
120
00:06:03,929 --> 00:06:04,829
What?
121
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,730
After only three ballgames?
122
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,203
Can't I take a shower
without there being a reason?
123
00:06:14,239 --> 00:06:15,607
And I don't want
to hear any more
124
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:17,241
About me losing that game.
125
00:06:17,242 --> 00:06:19,811
People say I'm getting old.
I'm not getting old!
126
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,413
I can still do everything
I always did.
127
00:06:22,414 --> 00:06:25,416
God, how many more steps
are there?
128
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:30,421
Well, we got the ice pack
on his back,
129
00:06:30,422 --> 00:06:31,589
Heat pack
on his neck
130
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:34,092
And a six-pack
down his throat.
131
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,194
So how is he?
132
00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:38,496
Sweaty, drunk and blue.
133
00:06:39,698 --> 00:06:41,599
Gee, just like the night
we made you.
134
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,601
[laughs]
135
00:06:47,205 --> 00:06:48,706
[doorbell rings]
136
00:06:49,941 --> 00:06:51,942
[sighs]
137
00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:54,512
Mrs. Bundy.
138
00:06:54,513 --> 00:06:56,146
Bundy children.
139
00:06:56,147 --> 00:06:57,348
Is your husband here?
140
00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:58,316
Tsk.
141
00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:01,419
No. I'm cooking feet
for dinner.
142
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,420
Of course he's home.
143
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:04,088
You want me
to go call him?
144
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:06,324
No, no. We've got something
we want to talk over with you.
145
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,327
As you know,
we still have high hopes
146
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,662
To win the league
championship next week.
147
00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:13,397
Don't worry, daddy says
that he'll be ready.
148
00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:14,732
Let's face facts.
149
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:17,068
Your father stinks.
150
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:19,270
I say we should dump
the old dog.
151
00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:20,572
Dump him?
152
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,173
You can't.
153
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:24,375
How 'bout if we just
move him to first base
154
00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:26,377
And not throw to him?
155
00:07:30,582 --> 00:07:34,485
What "the say duh kid"
is trying to say...
156
00:07:34,486 --> 00:07:36,720
Is that you can't take
softball away from daddy.
157
00:07:36,721 --> 00:07:38,289
I mean why don't you
just lock him out
158
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:40,057
Of his own bathroom,
while you're at it?
159
00:07:40,058 --> 00:07:41,292
That's it.
160
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:43,194
Leave the man with nothing,
why don't you?
161
00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:45,029
Oh, now, now,
easy, dear.
162
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:47,031
They can't get rid
of your dad.
163
00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:48,799
The championship game
is next week,
164
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,602
And they cannot play
with one man short.
165
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:53,104
As luck would have it,
166
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,972
We happened
on a replacement.
167
00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:56,908
We'd like you
to meet sven.
168
00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:58,843
Oh, sven!
169
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,518
[grunts]
170
00:08:08,253 --> 00:08:10,154
[swoons]
171
00:08:12,691 --> 00:08:14,325
He bats .380,
172
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:16,160
He's got a cannon
for an arm,
173
00:08:16,161 --> 00:08:20,031
And he runs like children
from your husband.
174
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:22,867
Now, all those in favor
of dumping bundy,
175
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:23,868
Raise your hand.
176
00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:31,842
[laughing]
oh.
177
00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,010
Gee.
178
00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:35,346
How'd that get up there?
179
00:08:39,918 --> 00:08:41,219
Mom.
180
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,621
You're not really gonna
vote dad out, are you?
181
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,258
Honey, it's
for the championship.
182
00:08:48,259 --> 00:08:52,229
It has nothing to do
with playing with sven.
183
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:56,400
His tensed buttocks
in his tight uniform.
184
00:08:56,401 --> 00:09:01,906
The autumn sun glinting on
his glistening, heaving pecs.
185
00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:04,108
Come on, everybody.
186
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:06,778
Let's welcome sven
to the team.
187
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:07,779
[laughs]
188
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:08,780
Ooh.
189
00:09:10,315 --> 00:09:11,816
Nice game, baby.
190
00:09:13,151 --> 00:09:14,785
What do you say, young bundys?
191
00:09:14,786 --> 00:09:16,220
We need your votes.
192
00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:19,924
According to team rules,
the vote has to be unanimous.
193
00:09:19,925 --> 00:09:23,260
It can be unanimous or out loud.
194
00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:27,064
I don't care.
195
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:28,699
You're still
not getting my vote.
196
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,135
It's just like I wrote
in my fourth grade essay:
197
00:09:31,136 --> 00:09:34,138
Daddy good, sleepy now.
198
00:09:38,443 --> 00:09:40,177
Yeah.
199
00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:41,778
We don't care about winning.
200
00:09:41,779 --> 00:09:44,382
Now, that man loves the game,
and we love that man.
201
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:45,949
Besides, if we voted
against him,
202
00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:49,053
He'd kick the living crap
out of us.
203
00:09:49,054 --> 00:09:50,988
You know, you'll have
to forgive the kids.
204
00:09:50,989 --> 00:09:54,658
They still think of al
as their father.
205
00:09:55,894 --> 00:09:57,662
Hey, it's the team!
206
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:58,796
[chuckling]
hey...
207
00:10:00,065 --> 00:10:00,998
Ah, sorry, guys,
208
00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:02,867
About that little slip-up
this afternoon,
209
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,168
But, uh, don't worry
about me.
210
00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:06,471
I'll be there
for you next week.
211
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:09,273
Who's the guy with the backpack
shaped like my wife?
212
00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:18,983
Your replacement.
213
00:10:18,984 --> 00:10:20,050
Oh, good.
214
00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:22,319
That way, I can concentrate
more on baseball.
215
00:10:26,557 --> 00:10:29,059
Watch that morning kiss, buddy.
216
00:10:30,328 --> 00:10:31,528
No-- no, al.
217
00:10:31,529 --> 00:10:34,331
We meant your replacement
on the team. Uh--
218
00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:35,800
How can we put
this gently?
219
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,134
Uh--
we think
ya stink.
220
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:38,202
Yeah.
221
00:10:39,504 --> 00:10:41,973
Oh, stink, do I?
222
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,709
Let me paint
a picture for you.
223
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:47,278
May 6, 1982.
224
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:49,947
New market mallers,
0 and 10.
225
00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:52,216
But then,
226
00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:55,753
Out of the shoe fields
came a fresh-faced kid,
227
00:10:55,754 --> 00:10:59,323
With fire in his eyes
and thunder in his back.
228
00:10:59,324 --> 00:11:00,625
Enter the bundy era.
229
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,461
Let's remember
some great moments
230
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:04,895
From the man
whose jockstrap
231
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:07,565
None of you
are fit to carry.
232
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,701
Or get within
100 yards of.
233
00:11:10,702 --> 00:11:11,969
[laughs]
234
00:11:13,605 --> 00:11:15,906
Remember with me,
if you will,
235
00:11:15,907 --> 00:11:18,843
June 9, 1983.
236
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,644
Game on the line.
237
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:22,913
The opposing team drills
one in to left field,
238
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:23,981
Where you, norris,
239
00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:25,816
Were standing frozen.
240
00:11:25,817 --> 00:11:28,252
Bundy sprints to the fence
and spears it.
241
00:11:28,253 --> 00:11:31,255
Mallers win.
And bundy? Mvp.
242
00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:35,393
Let us remember now
bundy on the base paths.
243
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:37,128
A little dribbler
244
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:38,028
Hit by you, nessen.
245
00:11:38,029 --> 00:11:39,296
Bundy,
246
00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:40,865
Needing to score
to win the game,
247
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:41,966
Lowered his head
248
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:43,634
Into the toughest catcher
in the game,
249
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:45,970
And took out
mrs. Shephouse.
250
00:11:50,008 --> 00:11:53,677
Separating her shoulder
and ending her career.
251
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:55,713
Mallers win,
252
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:59,717
And bundy,
once again, mvp.
253
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,424
You still wanna
bench me?
254
00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:10,361
Yeah. You stink.
255
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:11,762
Well, you can't.
256
00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,597
'cause I know you need
a unanimous vote
257
00:12:13,598 --> 00:12:14,999
To get me out
of next week's game.
258
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,767
And I happen to know
that my family here
259
00:12:16,768 --> 00:12:19,203
Wouldn't do that
to their old man.
260
00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:20,805
Best your vote
could've been was,
261
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:22,106
Uh...
262
00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:24,508
Six to three.
263
00:12:24,509 --> 00:12:26,243
Seven to two.
264
00:12:26,244 --> 00:12:28,312
Why, peg?
265
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,349
Well, it was
for the good of the team.
266
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:38,789
Al, you gotta
feel this.
267
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:43,360
I'm gonna call
for one more vote, bundy.
268
00:12:43,361 --> 00:12:45,096
You can call your son home
from ballet school,
269
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,763
For all I care.
270
00:12:47,865 --> 00:12:50,434
I know I have the votes
of my children.
271
00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:51,602
All right.
272
00:12:51,603 --> 00:12:55,839
I don't want to sway you,
but don't you youngsters
273
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,542
Want to win
the first championship
274
00:12:58,543 --> 00:13:00,478
In mallers' history?
275
00:13:01,412 --> 00:13:03,214
Well, not if it's gonna hurt
my daddy.
276
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:06,517
Well, what about free lunches
at my restaurant?
277
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:10,221
Can we see a menu first?
278
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:11,621
Wait a minute!
279
00:13:11,622 --> 00:13:13,924
Now, kids, before we vote,
280
00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:15,692
May I share a little rhyme
I learned
281
00:13:15,693 --> 00:13:18,528
When I was both your ages?
282
00:13:20,131 --> 00:13:25,002
♪ d is for de many pies
I made you ♪
283
00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:29,006
♪ a is for the apple
in my eye ♪
284
00:13:30,775 --> 00:13:35,745
♪ d is for de dish
you ate the pie in ♪
285
00:13:35,746 --> 00:13:40,017
♪ d is for de apple
of my eye ♪
286
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:43,020
Y? Because I love you.
287
00:13:45,756 --> 00:13:47,257
♪ put them all together ♪
288
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,593
♪ they spell daddy ♪
289
00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:53,297
I'm sorry.
290
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:54,798
Take your vote now.
291
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:58,335
Announcer [over pa]:
And starting for al bundy,
292
00:13:58,336 --> 00:14:00,337
Sven hunkstrom.
293
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,975
Oh, come on, honey.
294
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:05,509
Don't be bitter.
295
00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:07,811
You can still be
of some use to the team.
296
00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:11,515
Why, a few of us
would like ice cream.
297
00:14:11,516 --> 00:14:14,952
Well, excuse me,
mr. Long-face.
298
00:14:14,953 --> 00:14:18,322
Oh, don't you know we did this
because we care about you?
299
00:14:18,323 --> 00:14:19,223
Oh, really?
300
00:14:19,224 --> 00:14:20,824
Y-you know
what really hurts, peg?
301
00:14:20,825 --> 00:14:22,927
It's the fact
that you didn't even bother--
302
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,595
Shh! Sven's up.
303
00:14:26,464 --> 00:14:27,464
Boo.
304
00:14:27,465 --> 00:14:29,266
["born under a bad sign"
playing]
305
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:32,870
♪ born under a bad sign ♪
306
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:36,840
♪ been down since
I began to crawl ♪
307
00:14:36,841 --> 00:14:39,209
♪ if it wasn't for bad luck ♪
308
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:43,180
♪ I wouldn't have
no luck at all ♪
309
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:48,152
♪ bad luck and trouble ♪
310
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,488
♪ is my only friend ♪
311
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,623
♪ I been on my own ♪
312
00:14:52,624 --> 00:14:55,759
♪ ever since I was 10 ♪
313
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,928
♪ born under a bad sign ♪
314
00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:04,401
♪ I been down since
I began to crawl ♪
315
00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:06,737
♪ if it wasn't for bad luck ♪
316
00:15:06,738 --> 00:15:10,207
♪ I wouldn't have
no luck at all ♪
317
00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:13,477
♪ if it wasn't for bad luck ♪
318
00:15:13,478 --> 00:15:17,581
♪ I wouldn't have
no luck at all ♪
319
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:21,719
Peg:
Okay.
320
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:22,820
Bases are loaded,
321
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,287
And we've only got
one out.
322
00:15:24,288 --> 00:15:26,289
Bud, you're up.
323
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:28,926
Wish me luck, dad.
324
00:15:30,028 --> 00:15:31,094
[thud]
325
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,464
That good enough luck
for you?
326
00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:46,543
[cheering and applause]
327
00:15:47,445 --> 00:15:49,280
Going...
328
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,114
It's going...
329
00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:53,517
Caught on
the warning track!
330
00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:54,518
Tough luck.
331
00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:55,919
Way to let
the team down.
332
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,821
[laughs]
333
00:15:57,822 --> 00:15:59,089
Heeee's
334
00:15:59,090 --> 00:15:59,923
Out!
335
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:06,864
What do we do now?
336
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,466
We have to have someone
to bat for him.
337
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,368
We've only one player left.
338
00:16:16,207 --> 00:16:17,808
[whistling]
339
00:16:17,809 --> 00:16:19,109
Excuse me.
340
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:20,610
Mrs. Bundy?
341
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,280
Oh, yeah.
342
00:16:23,281 --> 00:16:25,783
This'll be real easy.
343
00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:29,286
Al...
344
00:16:30,354 --> 00:16:31,855
Honey.
345
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:35,525
Hey, would you
go up there and bat?
346
00:16:35,526 --> 00:16:37,327
The guys would
really like it a lot.
347
00:16:37,328 --> 00:16:38,829
Really?
348
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:41,531
Gee, does everyone
want me?
349
00:16:41,532 --> 00:16:43,300
I mean, even my family?
350
00:16:43,301 --> 00:16:45,035
I mean, I'm--
I'm old, and I stink.
351
00:16:45,036 --> 00:16:46,469
[sighs]
352
00:16:46,470 --> 00:16:49,073
What's it gonna take
to get you to go hit?
353
00:16:54,512 --> 00:16:56,647
[plays note]
354
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,989
♪ d is for de many pies
you made us ♪
355
00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:08,992
♪ a is for the apple
in his eye ♪
356
00:17:08,993 --> 00:17:12,362
♪ d is for the dish
you made the pie in ♪
357
00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:15,266
♪ d is for de apple
in his eye ♪
358
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:18,101
♪ y? Because we love you ♪
359
00:17:18,102 --> 00:17:19,903
♪ put them all together ♪
360
00:17:19,904 --> 00:17:21,238
♪ they spell... ♪
361
00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:23,207
Make me feel it.
362
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:27,211
♪ daddy ♪
363
00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:37,521
Hat.
364
00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:42,392
Thunder rod.
365
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,598
Announcer [over pa]:
Batting for sven hunkstrom,
366
00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:50,600
Al bundy.
367
00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:57,908
You know he's gonna
strike out.
368
00:18:15,793 --> 00:18:17,294
Strike!
369
00:18:17,295 --> 00:18:18,562
[crowd boos]
370
00:18:18,563 --> 00:18:19,863
What's he doing?
371
00:18:19,864 --> 00:18:23,167
Framing his greatest failure.
372
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:29,439
Strike two!
373
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,707
[crowd boos]
374
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:31,775
Come on, kids.
375
00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:32,976
Daddy can get
a ride home
376
00:18:32,977 --> 00:18:35,812
On the shoulders
of the opposing team.
377
00:18:35,813 --> 00:18:37,381
Come on, bundy!
378
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,149
[cheering]
379
00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:43,020
Woman:
You can do it!
380
00:18:54,599 --> 00:18:56,400
Roy:
Come on, bundy!
381
00:19:01,639 --> 00:19:02,806
Roy:
It's going...
382
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:04,041
It's going...
383
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:08,212
It's gone!
384
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,480
[crowd cheering]
385
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,451
We've done it!
386
00:19:14,452 --> 00:19:15,953
[laughs]
387
00:19:16,587 --> 00:19:17,955
Well,
388
00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:20,157
You know, we're never gonna
hear the end of this one.
389
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:21,558
Gee, how can you tell?
390
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:23,426
The way he's making
fire engine noises
391
00:19:23,427 --> 00:19:25,062
As he rounds the bases?
392
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:28,398
Well, look closely, kids.
393
00:19:28,399 --> 00:19:30,834
Something you may
never see again.
394
00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:31,869
Behold.
395
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:34,838
A shoe salesman
in triumph.
396
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:41,211
Bud:
All right, dad!
397
00:19:44,248 --> 00:19:45,915
Well, cross the plate, bundy.
398
00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:47,517
Cross the plate!
399
00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:49,753
In due time.
400
00:19:49,754 --> 00:19:51,255
Microphone, please.
401
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:57,795
[clears throat]
402
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,865
Before I cross home plate
403
00:20:01,866 --> 00:20:06,269
And bring home the first-ever
championship to the mallers,
404
00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:09,073
I would just like to say that,
405
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:11,575
[mimicking an echo]
today, today, today, today...
406
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:14,745
I consider you, you, you...
407
00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:16,680
The luckiest team
408
00:20:16,681 --> 00:20:19,183
On the face
of the earth, earth, earth...
409
00:20:20,585 --> 00:20:22,953
And in closing,
I'd like to say,
410
00:20:22,954 --> 00:20:25,856
I hate you all.
411
00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:29,059
I thank no one but myself.
412
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:33,229
As of today, I, al bundy,
413
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,432
Am finished with baseball.
414
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:41,271
M.
415
00:20:41,272 --> 00:20:42,940
V.
416
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:43,941
P!
417
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:45,943
[all cheering]
418
00:21:13,604 --> 00:21:15,272
Man:
Move it!
419
00:21:21,612 --> 00:21:22,812
Hey, kid,
how you doin'?
420
00:21:22,813 --> 00:21:23,947
All right.
421
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:24,815
All right!
422
00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:26,884
[chuckles]
423
00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:28,786
Boy, that center fielder's
gonna get burned
424
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:30,187
Playing that shallow.
425
00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:38,262
Man:
Heads up!
426
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:40,064
[grunts]
427
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:41,331
[crowd cheers]
428
00:21:41,332 --> 00:21:44,001
Who is that guy?
429
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:45,435
I think it's him.
430
00:21:45,436 --> 00:21:46,937
Who's him?
431
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:48,005
Al bundy.
432
00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:50,007
Did you ever
see him play?
433
00:21:50,008 --> 00:21:52,009
I only heard about him.
Yeah...
434
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:54,511
Peg:
I saw him play.
435
00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:56,880
[chuckles]
436
00:21:56,881 --> 00:21:58,782
He was the best.
437
00:21:58,783 --> 00:22:01,852
Ran, threw, sold shoes.
438
00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:02,853
Heh.
439
00:22:02,854 --> 00:22:04,855
He was the best.
440
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,523
Is that him?
441
00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:07,691
[bat hits ball]
442
00:22:14,699 --> 00:22:16,166
[crowd cheers]
443
00:22:17,635 --> 00:22:19,136
Nah.
444
00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:20,270
That's not him.
445
00:22:21,305 --> 00:22:24,041
He said he'd had enough
of the game. Heh.
446
00:22:39,724 --> 00:22:41,024
[♪]